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Friday, April 17, 2015

My Absence

I can't believe that my last post on the blog was December 1st 2014. I used to look forward to blogging on a daily basis but at some point in November my posts were dropping off. This was due to the fact that my mother was in the hospital whilst the doctors were trying to figure out what was causing her to need transfusions all the time. Then we had our answer, she had stage 4 Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma. Not what we wanted to hear, obviously. However, my mother had a wonderful doctor looking after her who believed because of my mother's strong constitution and how sturdy of a woman she was that she had an extremely positive outlook on my mom's prognosis and Chemo was scheduled to begin in the first week of December. Unfortunately, my mom who has always been susceptible to pneumonia and the day after seeing her doctor and receiving her chemo schedule she was in the hospital on a respirator where she quickly went down hill. On December 7th at 8:32 p.m. surrounded by our family my mother was taken off life support and the single greatest person I have ever known and the woman I had the privilege of calling Mama for 24 years passed away at age 60.  Needless to say, my world along with my siblings, and father's worlds blew apart and were irrecovably changed. Suddenly the one who was holding us all together was gone and me being the youngest of my siblings was suddenly jettisoned into an existence I didn't know how to cope with and still don't. Which is why I've taken this time off from blogging. I've read 12 books since my mother died. The one thing that I've always been to self medicate with, my reading no longer held any joy for me. I used to seek comfort amongst the pages of my books or here in the book blogging community but until about a week ago I didn't even consider coming back. Darren AKA Mr. Turning the Pages has had to talk me off the ledge many times these last few months since I wanted to delete Turning the Pages. However, since I'm now living in a new place I've been coming back to myself and thus I've been wanting to bring the blog back to life. My mama while she never read my blog supported it wholeheartedly and would have been so pissed to know I stopped doing what I love just because I was sad over losing her. She wouldn't have stood for it and that's why I'm back because my Mama is probably giving me hell for being so foolish. I'm not saying that Turning the Pages will be back at full capacity right away, I might just start with meme's and work my way back into reviewing but I am back and I'm glad to be back and I can only hope that you'll all welcome me back as warmly as you welcomed me when I began this bookish journey and thank you for your patience.

Kimberly

12 comments:

  1. I'm glad your back baby. I've been looking forward to it. I'm really happy

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  2. I'm so sorry for everything your family went through. It's so devastating and I know how hard it is to try and work through those feelings and heartbreak. I hope the blog brings you some comfort and becomes an escape for you again.

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  3. I'm so sorry for your loss. I also lost my mother to cancer so I have an idea what you've been through. I did wonder where you had gone. I hope you'll be back blogging again but do what you have to. If you do continue blogging, I hope it'll bring you joy again.

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  4. So, so sorry for your loss. I lost my mom to pancreatic cancer two years ago and stopped both blogging and reading as I could not function at all. It took time but I slowly got back into reading then blogging and it's probably been the one thing that has kept me going.

    Looking forward to seeing you post soon!

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  5. Your story brought sympathetic tears to my eyes. My grandmother was gone in less than a month after my grandfather died of a heart attack, so I lost them both quickly as well. I know some of the pain and suffering you have been through. Just know that many of out there can empathize, so take your time. We will be here waiting when you are ready.

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  6. Welcome back Kimberly. I am so glad that you will be back. I am so sorry to hear about your loss, your mama sounds like a great lady!! I have lost some close family members to cancer, so I can understand how hard it is. One day at a time is the best way to go. Hope that blogging will be a positive turn in your life.

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  7. Oh gosh, what a journey you've had to travel so far. I am close to my mum so I can faintly imagine how the passing of yours had made you gone through a roller coaster of emotions, emotions you are damn well entitled to. I'm glad you didn't delete this blog. I've missed you. You blog when uou feel like it. Ain't nothing wrong with keeping it real. I think it's so sweet that your husband didn't want you to delete this.

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  8. so sorry for your lost Kim...deep and sincere condolences to you and your family. Welcome back to blogging but it is surely understood why you took a break, a lost such as yours is deep and your time to heal is yours, no explanation is needed.

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  9. I'm very sorry for your loss. I can't imagine what a difficult time you have been going through. I'm glad that you chose not to delete your blog.

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  10. So very sorry for your loss. My mother died with on hospice care at our home. It was a loss that affected all of us deeply, so I can empathize. It's wonderful that you had such a great mother and I'm sorry for you and your family's loss.

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  11. I'm sorry to hear about your mom!
    I understand why you have to take a time off but I'm also glad you're back :)
    Take your time to get in touch with blogging again we will be waiting for you
    Love,
    Ruty @Reading...Dreaming

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