The Men Who Killed Me: Rwandan Survivors of Sexual Violence by Sandra Ka Hon Chu, Anne-Marie de Brouwer (Editor), Samer Muscati

Summary:

"I urge you to be disturbed by what you have read here, really disturbed. And then I urge you to get angry, get bold, become determined to do everything in your power to end this heinous violence everywhere in the world."-from the Afterword by Eve Ensler" "These brave testimonies about the sexual violence in Rwanda in 1994 should remind us of the urgency to fight the ongoing atrocities in Darfur, Somalia and the Democratic Republic of Congo."-Major General (ret.) Patrick Cammaert" "Graphically, and without doubt, this book makes the case that rape is no lesser a crime than murder."-Lieutenant-General the Honourable RomTo A. Dallaire (ret.), Senator" "Survivors choose to tell their stories in the hope that others will hear. These searing testimonials of inconsolable anguish and awe-inspiring resilience will change you forever and spark you to act to honour dignity."-James Orbinski, former international president of Doctors without Borders/MSF and author of An Imperfect Offering" "In the 100 Days of genocide that ravaged the small Central African nation of Rwanda between April and July 1994, approximately one million Tutsi and moderate Hutu were killed, and an estimated 250,000 to 500,000 women and girls were raped. Almost all Rwandan women who survived the genocide were victims of sexual violence or were profoundly affected by it, and an astounding 70 per cent of survivors are HIV positive. To a lesser extent, boys and men also fell victim to this kind of violence during the genocide." "The Men Who Killed Me features searing testimonials from seventeen Rwandan survivors. Through their narratives and Samer Muscati's powerful portraits, these sixteen women and one man bear witness to the crimes committed in their country and to the suffering they continue to endure. In speaking out, they exhibit incredible strength and courage, challenging the stigma they face both as survivors of sexual violence and as people living with HIV. Their stories, along with the accompanying photographs, make an indelible impact." "Proceeds from the sales of this book will go to Mukomeze, a charitable organization established to improve the lives of girls and women who survived sexual violence in the Rwandan genocide." "Anne-Marie De Brouwer, associate professor of international criminal law at Tilburg University, has worked in Rwanda in various capacities, focusing on the rights of girls and women." "Sandra Ka Hon Chu, a lawyer and senior policy analyst with the Canadian Hiv/aids Legal Network, has worked promoting women's rights in East Timor, Hong Kong, Canada and the Netherlands." Samer Muscati, is a Canadian lawyer and former journalist who has worked widely in the field of human rights and international development. His photographs have been featured in many publications, including Time magazine.
Summary taken from GoodReads.com
Length: 184 pages
Source: Toronto Public Library
Publication Date: March 23rd 2010

I read this book for my Around the World in 50 Books Challenge. This book is definitely not for the faint of heart. It will disturb you. If it doesn't disturb you than you're really messed up. Seriously. That's just how I see it whether you agree or not.

"Whether I'm in the fields, or at home, or at the market, I will never get the smell of semen out of my nostrils." that is a quote from one of the survivors of the Rwandan genocide. She was chained to a bed and raped repeatedly for 3 months. This woman among 2 others are the reason that this book was even written.  For me that sentence is the most powerful sentence I have ever read in a book. When I read it for the first time it evoked several feelings in me. The first was disgust, then came anger and then an overwhelming feeling of sorrow. I read that quote several times and each time my feelings intensified. I knew no matter how disturbed I would be that I had to continue reading the book. If I didn't I felt as though I would be letting the survivors down.

The book opens with a brief overview of the cause of the genocide followed by information on sexual violence rape reports by country and era(I think). I found both of these features to be helpful as they gave both background information as well as information on other countries that I did not know about.

Inside there are the horrific accounts of 17 survivors of the "African Holocaust" .16 women and 1 young man were brave enough to share their stories with the world in the hope that they will bring attention to the plight of the people of Rwanda.

To me it seemed as though each account of sexual violence became more and more extreme as the book went on. There were stories from women who were still little girls at the time the genocide occurred many of them if not all ended up contracting HIV from their rapists.

Each account broke my heart. I wanted to reach through the pages of the book to hug these survivors, to show them that someone cares, that someone has them in their heart. The violence that these people suffered is incomprehensible. 800,000 people were murdered in 90 days of fighting while the international community did nothing. That is what made me the angriest I think. Knowing that nothing was being done to help end the genocide that wiped almost one million people off the face of the earth. Men, women, and children were butchered regardless of age or status. The young and the old were treated like "cockroaches" as the Hutu fighters called them. It's unfathomable to me that this was allowed to happen.

When the genocide was happening I just turned 4. I was celebrating my fourth birthday while other children younger than I were being hacked to death in an effort to wipe out the future generation of Tutsi people. that really put the accounts into perspective to me. It made me think...what right to a childhood did I have one so many others were cut short? What right to complain did I have one other children were being abused and murdered? The answer...is none. I don't have that right. That's the way I see it you don't have to agree but that is my opinion and this is my blog.


As disturbing as the book is, the people who told their stories still manage for the most part to keep holding on to one thing. Hope. How inspiring is that? After everything that happened to them they still manage to hope for something better and they do not give up. Far from it these people are still fighting. They're fighting for survival for themselves and their families while living in poverty. These people are true heros, true survivors and they deserve more than what they are getting in life.

Many of the women have to live in the same communities as the men who attacked and raped them, killed their families or raped their family members. For them their nightmares will never end as long as the current legal system in Rwanda stays the same. Bribery is common place and often the sentences for the criminals do not fit the crimes. sometimes the victims are bought off and sometimes so are the judges. Very little is being done for the Rwandan people by the international community that stood by and let the slaughter...there is no other word for what happened during those 90 days it was a slaughter. It sickens me.

While the subject matter was difficult to read I highly recommend it to all. These stories must be read. To not do so is the equivalent to sweeping these people under the proverbial rug. The people who wrote the stories down for the victims did so in such a way that they were not offensive. I applaud the survivors of the genocide and I hope that things get better for the people there but I know this will only happen if people, every day regular run of the mill average people do something to help. I urge you to research charities (make sure they are reputable) and donate your time, money, possessions where and when you can. Please read this book and educate yourselves so that we can avoid things like this from happening in the future. This is by far the most powerful book I have ever read and now I'm reading other books to educate myself further on this topic. I hope I encouraged someone else to read this book. It's worth it. Trust me it will make you value things a lot more.

★ ★ ★ ★ ★

A Long Way Gone Memoirs of a Boy Soldier by Ishmael Beah

Summary:

My new friends have begun to suspect I haven't told them the full story of my life.
"Why did you leave Sierra Leone?"
"Because there is a war."
"You mean, you saw people running around with guns and shooting each other?"
"Yes, all the time."
"Cool."
I smile a little.
"You should tell us about it sometime."
"Yes, sometime."
This is how wars are fought now: by children, hopped-up on drugs and wielding AK-47s. Children have become soldiers of choice. In the more than fifty conflicts going on worldwide, it is estimated that there are some 300,000 child soldiers. Ishmael Beah used to be one of them.

What is war like through the eyes of a child soldier? How does one become a killer? How does one stop? Child soldiers have been profiled by journalists, and novelists have struggled to imagine their lives. But until now, there has not been a first-person account from someone who came through this hell and survived.

In A Long Way Gone, Beah, now twenty-five years old, tells a riveting story: how at the age of twelve, he fled attacking rebels and wandered a land rendered unrecognizable by violence. By thirteen, he'd been picked up by the government army, and Beah, at heart a gentle boy, found that he was capable of truly terrible acts. This is a rare and mesmerizing account, told with real literary force and heartbreaking honesty.
Summary taken from GoodReads.com
Length: 226 pages (Paperback)
Source: Personal library
Publication Date: February 13th 2007

I would love to say that I enjoyed my trip to Sierra Leone but that would be impossible. The tone of the book makes it such a book that you love the way it is written but not what the book is about.

In the poignant, heart breaking story Ishmael Beah recounts his life as a child soldier during the civil war that wreaked havoc on his home country of Sierra Leone from 1991 to 2002.

This harrowing tale shows how this man managed to survive when he went out on an outing with his older brother and some friends and when they were going home were told their village had been destroyed and follows him as he has to beg, lie, steal and kill for survival.

I thought this book was tastefully written. He did not glorify the killing he did. Infact the author is now a spokes person who advocates ending the use of child soldiers in war. Through his story he hoped to reach people and educate them on the horrors that occured where he grew up and those that continue to happen in other countries where the use of child soldiers is prevalent.

This book touched me deeply. I felt my heart breaking as he wanddered from village to village looking for his his family which meant that he had to face the very real possibility of being killed by rebels but also ordinary people who thought that him and his band of lost boys were rebels.

The things he had to see, hear, do and feel were things that no child or any person should ever have to experience. His harrowing journey from boy to man while horrible has a sense of hope.

When he was pulled out of the army to be rehabilitated to get back into regular society he had to detox as he was addicted to drugs and also had to learn to live with his demons...basically he had to learn how to be a child (teenager) again. While he didn't find his parents and brothers he did manage to find an uncle with whom he lived with and loved until his death.

This book made me really sit back and appreciate what I have a hell of a lot more than I usually do. I'd like to thank Ishmael for writing his story and I hope he continues to speak against the use of child soldiers...This is one book I believe everyone must read.

★ ★ ★ ★

I Dare to Say: African Women Share Their Stories of Hope and Survival by Hilda Twongyeirwe

Click here to see the other books I'm reading for this challenge.

 

Summary:

A young woman at last finds love, only to discover, after the death of her baby and her man, that he was married, had eight children, and died of "slim," or AIDS.
A girl hides under a blanket in her dormitory while the Lord's Resistance Army, in search of child brides, pushes an armed child soldier through the window so they can take their pick of the terrified girls.
Not long after her ritual genital mutilation, a girl on her way home from school is beaten by four men, then delivered to an old man who will be her husband, a standard marriage practice.
In I Dare to Say, African women speak out in their own words, sharing poignant tales of womanhood, revealing how they cope and survive, and confiding their dreams and hopes for themselves and their children. They tell not only of atrocities and pain but also of motherhood, marriage, love, and courage, a testament to the bond among women from all cultures.
Dramatic, sometimes heartbreaking, often inspiring, I Dare to Say vividly brings to life how political instability, ethnic rivalries, and traditional religion shape the daily life-as well as the future-of rural African girls and women.
Hilda Twongyeirwe is an author, a poet, an editor, and the recipient of the Certificate of Recognition from the National Book Trust of Uganda for her book Fina the Dancer. She is the coordinator of FEMRITE and lives in Kampala, Uganda. FEMRITE, the Uganda Women Writers' Association was founded in 1995 to empower women through writing and sisterhood, giving them a voice in a male-dominated culture.

Summary taken from GoodReads.com

Length: 319 pages

Source: NetGalley ARC

Publication Date: February 1st 2012

Let's get one thing straight. This book is not meant to be enjoyed. It is not meant to make the reader feel better. It is skillfully written but the subject matter is not by any means for the faint of heart. The book is written by Hilda Twongyeirwe who being a native of Uganda went out and about her homeland to interview women so they would have a voice and that their stories would be told.

I liked the way that the book was written because although the author interviewed the women their stories were told without being broken up into questions. Their words flowed freely. I'm glad that the author let them speak and she just recorded their stories as they told them

This book was an eye opener. It was completely and utterly heart wrenching. Honestly with each and ever different account from these special women my heart broke for them and broke with them. The horrors that these women faced and thousands of others face on a daily basis are unimaginable and unspeakable.

The women in this book lived through gang rape, spousal abuse, kidnapping, aids, FGM (Female Genital Mutilation)  and being displaced by war. The things that they bore witness to are the very things that those of us who live in the comfort of our nice big, clean homes in the western world believe that nightmares are made of. One woman told Hilda that when soldiers came to her village she saw one man grab a woman's baby and beat it to death with a mortar and pedestal. I wonder if the child's mother survived or if she died afterward at the hands of the friends of the man who took her baby from her. I hope in my heart that she lived.

That is just one of the accounts in this book but that one is the one that has stayed with me the most. It was the one who made me the angriest and scared and grateful. I was angry at what occurred, scared that it is still happening and selfishly grateful that I'm not there where all this happened.

Despite the subject matter the book resonates with hope. Something that you wouldn't really expect to find after all these women and girls have been through but it is still there. I think it remains there because that's all the people have. Hope for a better tomorrow keeps them going.

I'd like to thank the author for publishing this book and the women who told their stories. They are an inspiration to us all and a reminder that we may live in comfort and complain about the small things but there will always be someone else who has it worse off. In fact they may have it so bad where they live that the contents of this book become common place or even normal. That is the most frightening thing I think.

I  highly recommend this to everyone. It is a book that needs to be read and one that deserves attention. It may be an uncomfortable read but out of respect for the women who have suffered and continue to suffer I urge everyone to read it.

*I recieved a copy of this book from the publisher via NetGalley in exchange for my free and honest review.

★ ★ ★ ★